The Path…

Promises…seems I’m on a roll…

I looked back to my very first post this morning…here it is five months later…and…I’m on number one hundred forty-seven…I bring it up…because…I focused on not promising anything…not to you…not to me…I only committed to writing…as Spirit led me…

And…I’ve done that…

In the process…I’ve written almost every day…expressing things that sometimes were a surprise even to me…as they unfolded on the page…emotions…happy…and…sad…found an outlet…as my fingers tapped the keyboard…

It has been a healing experience for me…encouraging…and not just from the kind words that my readers leave me…telling me…that they too experience similar feelings…although that is tremendous encouragement…

But…encouraging from the standpoint…of…showing me that I capable of stepping into who I truly am…and…although…the path isn’t always comfortable…it’s okay…I can travel it…I don’t have to know where it’s going…not exactly…I’m going where I need to go…

I think that’s the hardest part…for me…the not knowing exactly where it’s going to lead me…I went to college…I got a degree in nursing…that was a concrete path…I was a nurse…I pretty much knew what to expect…I could get a job…I could support myself…

Writing…totally different…when I write…it’s a rocky, earthen path…it meanders through the woods…it only makes one demand…one promise…and they are the same…to be who I truly am…I have to take it…

That feels both comforting and unsettling…and yet…I have a need to write…to share…to be open…to feel…to heal…to live my truth…to be heard…to be understood…to be loved…

And…isn’t that what we all want…regardless of the path we are walking…

Jane

Ghosts of Mistakes Past…

Just when I think I may have it all together…may have laid the ghosts of mistakes past to rest…they come back to haunt me…I was journaling about this over the weekend…you know the stuff that I write that you aren’t supposed to read…and yet…sometimes you peek in anyway…funny how that happens…

I know I’ve mentioned this before…but for me…writing is the way that I work things out…it’s like I write until I finally hear myself…or the voice of Bertha…and this was no exception…the funny thing is…I didn’t want to explore this situation…I was antsy…and I kept doing all kinds of goofy things…like reading someone else’s blog…not nearly as good as mine…but I digress…checking e-mail…turning the heater on and off…lighting a candle…blowing it out…

You get the picture…I was avoiding myself…but…my heart kept saying…write…listen…write…listen…and so finally…I did…I’m sharing this with you…because…Bertha told me to…

This is a clip from the middle of the writing…it took me awhile and some pretty boring stuff to get there…but…that’s how the process works…here goes…

I said…

I know…I’m on a path…and I am taking the steps…availing myself of the opportunities that are coming to me…and yet…I am becoming more insecure as I walk along…

Bertha replied…

That means that you have found the place that wants to be healed…it doesn’t mean that you have done anything wrong…or that you are in the wrong place…it is part of the path…to clear the debris out of the way…there are logs and branches and leaves that have long been blocking your path…

By walking your path again…you have exposed these obstacles at a time when you are ready…and able to heal them…to change the energy…to build a fire with the old wood…it will burn very quickly now…

You have been seeing this as a negative…and it isn’t…it is a positive…you are now able to remove the logs…to remove the branches…to remove the damp leaves…to clear the path…and now…you will be successful at this…

Do a visualization…see yourself walking the path…see yourself removing the logs…sticks…branches…and leaves…build a huge brush fire…and watch them burn into nothing…the ash that is left will nourish the soil…

I have to tell you that I did the visualization last night…and it was powerful…

This morning…Bertha reminded of my walk in the park yesterday…and how the path was strewn with acorns…leaves…twigs…sticks…and that if I had cleaned them all away…some new ones would fall…not all at once…but bit by bit…

She says this is how it is in my life…it’s not like I can clear the path and it will always stay clear…new things will come up…I’ll need to clear again…and again…and that’s okay…that’s the way it is supposed to be…or the leaves wouldn’t fall…

Jane