Saturday, December 3, 2011

Treeless in Alabama...

“To tree or not to tree?” That is the question. For the last five years or so, my answer has been “NOT!” Now don’t get excited. I’m not a humbug, nor am I depressed, sick, decrepit, or even broke.
The events that turned me into the old lady down the street without a Christmas tree would hardly make a touching Hallmark commercial, let alone a holiday movie. Instead, a lowly business trip nestled right in the midst of tree trimming time followed by holiday travel brought my tinsel strewing days to a halt. There just wasn’t time.
My daughters were appalled. Wasn’t I the one who always spent weeks decorating as many as three Christmas trees? Wasn’t I the one who burned enough twinkle lights to ensure the holiday bonuses of the entire electric company many years running? Wasn’t I the one who taught them the meaning of Christmas and family and life?
The thoughts of me being treeless would ruin Christmas. I assured them I was treeless not homeless. It would be okay it was just for one year—next year I would reclaim my decoration diva title.
I lied.
I meant to keep my promise. A heartfelt vow to one’s children should always be kept…but let’s face it…they were grown with their own trees…Santa wasn’t looking for a place to stow gifts…for Pete’s sakes, I didn’t even have a chimney for Santa to squeeze down anymore.
Besides, in all honesty, not having a tree had been liberating. There was no driving home from the nursery with a ten-foot evergreen tethered precariously on top of my car. There was no fighting with gnarled garland. There were no lights that gave up the ghost as soon as the ornaments were hung. There were no spiky needles in the carpet for the next six months…and Miracle on Cotton Bay Drive…I was happy. I had plenty of holiday spirit, devoured mounds of delicious goodies (some of which I’m still sporting) and gave and received delightful gifts without so much as a Norfolk Pine in the living room.
When the holidays rolled around again reawakening my daughters’ visions of sugarplums and Mama’s Christmas tree, my heart knew it wasn’t going to happen but I didn’t have a business excuse that year. What I did have was a Labrador retriever whose tail could fell a tree swifter than Paul Bunyan’s ax and a cat to egg her on. So like millions of ill prepared schoolchildren the world over…I blamed it on the dog.
It’s doubtful they bought the excuse and I didn’t offer the empty promise of next year…we all knew it was over.
The excuses changed with each ensuing year…becoming more or less an exercise in creativity. My current house doesn’t have enough outlets…hey, that’s the honest truth and I’m not giving up my heating pad for twinkle lights!
What I’ve learned in my years of being treeless is that the true meaning of Christmas is not ten-foot tall and smells of spruce. The true meaning of Christmas is love and family and sharing and Peace on Earth, Good Will to Men.
As I’m learning to lead with my heart, my newfound freedom is spilling over into other areas of my life. I’m picking and choosing based on today’s pleasure not yesterday’s memories…knowing that I have the prerogative to change…as I choose. In fact, I have a granddaughter now and maybe, just maybe, next year Grammy will put up a tree…but then again…she’s little…she won’t know the difference…why start a new tradition…
The Ladies of ADK
Jane
PS…I have actually had a tree every year since I wrote this piece in 2006…I now have two granddaughters to decorate for…but this year…they are coming after Christmas…and I’m answering that famous question…NOT!

PSS…I shared this story during my recent visit with Alpha Delta Kappa…glad to say that they seemed to enjoy Bertha…as much as I enjoyed them…Hats off to educators!

Friday, December 2, 2011

I’m But Flipping…

For years…I’ve heard the fallacy of using the word…but…in fact…they say that when you put but in the middle of a sentence…you negate the first half of the sentence…
I’d never thought much about it…until one day…I was journaling…and Bertha was reading over my shoulder…as usual…when she noted a but sentence…not much telling what it was…it could have been anything…
So…let’s just pretend that I said…I love my kids…but…they are driving me crazy…now…I know I didn’t say that…because…number one…my kids are perfect…and sometimes they read my blog…and number two…they were already grown…and we all know that the statute of limitations on child induced madness…ends when they can support themselves…but I digress…
Okay…that sentence really leaves me with the frustration of the kids…not the love I have for them…seems that they were right…about the but thing…
Bertha’s idea…novel even for her…was to reverse the order of the sentence…so it becomes…drum roll please…
My kids are driving me crazy…but…I love them
Bam…that totally changes the feeling of the sentence…yeah…they’re not perfect…but they’re my little rug rats…and I do love them…
Cool thing is…it works for just about any sentence…I said just about…because some of you will keep trying it until you find one that won’t work…then you’ll blame me…maybe sue me for false advertising…geez…
Come on…give the But Flip a try…you know you wanna…
Jane

Thursday, December 1, 2011

When the Student is Ready...

As a nurse…I have had many patients…some I remember…and many I don’t…there was one home health patient several years ago who will forever stick out in my mind…even though…I don’t recall her name…
She was elderly and disoriented…she was confused most of the time…which made teaching her about her breathing treatments…and diabetic diets…challenging at best…
The interesting thing is…she knew that she was confused…she knew things weren’t right…she struggled to make some sense of it…
One day when I arrived…she brought out some memorabilia for me to examine…as best I can recall…she had her driver’s license…expired…I hope…a picture of her with her twin sister when they graduated from high school…some 60 years earlier…and a cookbook from her home town…that included pictures of businesses, Churches, and schools…
Now…all of this was very distracting…I had a schedule to keep…I had tasks to perform…but…she was very insistent…that we look at each item…and let her tell me about them…and we did…
It may seem strange…that I would recall such a seemingly unimportant event…all these years later…well…it wasn’t what she did that made me remember…it was what she said…
She said that she wanted me to look at these things…because…she wanted somebody to really know her before she died…
Yeah…that’ll make you forget about your tasks and schedules…when nothing else will…as I recall…we took a while to discuss each of her life pieces…
In looking back at that day…I’m not so sure if it was me…or herself…that she wanted to really know who she was…I think it was her…I think she wanted to remember who she was…and why she mattered…I think I was just there to help her do that…
Bertha says that truly knowing who we are…is what all of us really want…and I think she’s right…I know that the more I get in touch with myself…and live my truth…the more satisfied I am with my life…
Not a small lesson…taught by one the world saw as confused…
Jane

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I’m Dreaming of a Blue Christmas…Not…

Seems everywhere I turn…someone is playing Christmas music…well…it is the season…but lots of it is just plain tragic…love gone bad…mama going to meet Jesus…it makes me sad to listen to it…so…unless forced to…tied…gagged and bound…I don’t…I have changed radio stations in the past because they only played Christmas music seemingly from Labor Day through New Year’s…
Personally…I like the happy songs…the ones that make you feel good all over…like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer…now who wouldn’t feel good while listening to that…my whole family loves it…even Grandma…
Some of my other funny favs include…
I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas…hello…Hippo Hero…glad you’re a vegetarian…
The Chimney Song…there’s something stuck up in the chimney…and I don’t know what it is…makes me glad I don’t have a fireplace…
The Restroom Door Said Gentlemen…now…I can’t sit in comfort and joy…love the play on words…who thinks up these songs…oh…Bob Rivers…
Santa Claus in Watching You…remember when Clyde the camel replaced Rudolph who dislocated his hip in a twist contest…
I know…I know…I’m weird…but…to me…sad Christmas music is like somebody telling me that I’ve gained weight…and we all know how that feels…okay…some of you don’t know…so let me just tell you…it feels crummy…I am aware of the weight…hello…I have a mirror…
Same difference with the songs…I’m aware of all the sad things that happen around Christmas…people who are lonely…people who are sad over the loss of a loved one…I don’t want to be reminded of it in my songs…
I want peace on earth…good will to men and women…I want hope…and love…and a warm fuzzy feeling…
Somehow…crazy mixed up Christmas songs do that for me…but…even them in small doses…
Bertha says that’s a part of living my truth…finding what makes me happy and embracing it…finding what makes me sad…and letting it go…whether it’s thoughts or music…it really doesn’t matter…
So…I listen to a station that plays the occasional Christmas song…and if it’s one that brings blue thoughts…I turn down the volume…easy peasy…
Jane

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Ghosts of Mistakes Past…

Just when I think I may have it all together…may have laid the ghosts of mistakes past to rest…they come back to haunt me…I was journaling about this over the weekend…you know the stuff that I write that you aren’t supposed to read…and yet…sometimes you peek in anyway…funny how that happens
I know I’ve mentioned this before…but for me…writing is the way that I work things out…it’s like I write until I finally hear myself…or the voice of Bertha…and this was no exception…the funny thing is…I didn’t want to explore this situation…I was antsy…and I kept doing all kinds of goofy things…like reading someone else’s blog…not nearly as good as mine…but I digress…checking e-mail…turning the heater on and off…lighting a candle…blowing it out…
You get the picture…I was avoiding myself…but…my heart kept saying…write…listen…write…listen…and so finally…I did…I’m sharing this with you…becauseBertha told me to
This is a clip from the middle of the writing…it took me awhile and some pretty boring stuff to get there…but…that’s how the process works…here goes…
I said…
I know…I’m on a path…and I am taking the steps…availing myself of the opportunities that are coming to me…and yet…I am becoming more insecure as I walk along…
Bertha replied…
That means that you have found the place that wants to be healed…it doesn’t mean that you have done anything wrong…or that you are in the wrong place…it is part of the path…to clear the debris out of the way…there are logs and branches and leaves that have long been blocking your path…
By walking your path again…you have exposed these obstacles at a time when you are ready…and able to heal them…to change the energy…to build a fire with the old wood…it will burn very quickly now…
You have been seeing this as a negative…and it isn’t…it is a positive…you are now able to remove the logs…to remove the branches…to remove the damp leaves…to clear the path…and now…you will be successful at this…
Do a visualization…see yourself walking the path…see yourself removing the logs…sticks…branches…and leaves…build a huge brush fire…and watch them burn into nothing…the ash that is left will nourish the soil…
I have to tell you that I did the visualization last night…and it was powerful…
This morning…Bertha reminded of my walk in the park yesterday…and how the path was strewn with acorns…leaves…twigs…sticks…and that if I had cleaned them all away…some new ones would fall…not all at once…but bit by bit…
She says this is how it is in my life…it’s not like I can clear the path and it will always stay clear…new things will come up…I’ll need to clear again…and again…and that’s okay…that’s the way it is supposed to be…or the leaves wouldn’t fall…
Jane

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Gambler in the Garden…

Just before the frost
Jack Frost has nipped on the noses of my garden plants…so I was thinking it would be the perfect time to cut back my hydrangeas…well…the leaves have fallen off…and the blooms are dead…it seemed like the thing to do…just as I was about to snip…I noticed all these little bud thingies…hmm…maybe I should wait…maybe I should Google…
So Google I did…and…as you probably already know…you’re such a smarty plants…you don’t prune hydrangeas in the fall…their blooms are already setting for the spring…if I had cut them back…it would have been a bloomless spring and summer…
Of course…Bertha related this to life…like she does with everything…actually she said Kenny Rogers said it best…you got to know when to hold ‘em…know when to fold ‘em…know when to walk away…and…know when to run…
(She’s always had a crush on him…ever since she saw him and Dolly in concert back in the 80’s…shhh…here she comes…don’t tell her I told you…)
So…while Fall is the perfect time to prune my roses…I’ll leave the hydrangeas alone…well…I did lop just the blooms off…short stems…no buds…but…that is allowable…
And maybe Bertha and Kenny are on to something…maybe life is all about knowing when to hold on and when to let go…whether it’s playing cards…pruning the garden…hanging out in a relationship...or a job…raising our children...or sharing an opinion…
Hmmm…something to think about…think I’ll contemplate in the garden for a change…I have a perfect thinking rock right next to a hydrangea bush…just for that purpose…
Jane

Sunday, November 27, 2011

The Celebrated Tennis Shoe Tree of Cherokee, Alabama…

We were traveling to Memphis a few years back…minding our own business…when Bertha started to yelp and shout…pointing to the side of the road…and there it was…in all its glory…The Celebrated Tennis Shoe Tree of Cherokee, Alabama


Click on the picture for a better view.
 
As you can imagine…nothing could be more exciting for a couple of confirmed shoe freaks…than finding a tree sporting dozens of pairs…right out in the middle of the country…
Bertha says it’s the shoe lover’s equivalent of Mecca…she actually gets misty-eyed when we drive by…and…yes…we usually have to stop so she can pay reverence to the latest pumps, brogans, moccasins, high-tops…low-tops…and baby booties…
There’s even one pair of purple high-heels whose origins I have my suspicions about…but I’m not asking…and she’s not telling…
Now…this isn’t going to be one of those heavy blogs…the only contemplation needed here is…how did that first pair of sneakers get in that tree…did the tree suddenly sprout them…did someone throw their shoes out the window of a speeding car…was it an initiation prank…and why that particular tree…there are thousands of trees along that stretch of road…
In searching for answers…enquiring minds and all that stuff…I still love Google...I found that there are similar trees all across the country…most of them are considered to be landmarks…some are even tourist attractions…who knew…but mostly their origins were just as mysterious as ours…
Well…Bertha says…some questions are best unanswered anyway…let everyone form their own opinion…hers is…drumroll…please…they fell out of Santa’s sleigh…and the elves are busy making more for this year...
Jane