It Wasn’t Brain Surgery…Well…Yes…I Guess It Was…

I wore a three-strand turquoise necklace yesterday…it looked lovely with my brown outfit…I got several compliments…I accepted them graciously…it was a milestone…

Not the accepting of compliments…although I admit…that still isn’t my strong point…but the ability to wear a necklace…for over 12 hours…that was the milestone…it’s been almost a year since I could do that…

When told that I required brain surgery for Chiari I Malformation…exactly a year ago yesterday as well…I hadn’t realized the poignancy of it until the words appeared on the page…many things went through my mind…the obvious…would I live or die…there are always risks…what kind of aftercare I would require…and who could provide it…a complication of living alone…the possibility of staff infection…I am a nurse after all…

But…as all these things ran through my mind…I never considered that I would have major changes in common…ordinary…everyday things…

I had no clue that my head would feel like it had a two-by-four attached to the back of it…stealing the simple pleasure from laying on my back…or laying back in a warm bath…and totally change the depth perception of leaning back into a headrest…

I had no clue that my hair would be sore…literally for months…or that it would sparkle when the sunlight hit it…not a comfortable feeling I might add…

I had no clue…that wearing my favorite earrings would suddenly feel akin to hanging a cannon ball from each ear…

I had no clue that the seeming weight of my head…would make sitting at the computer for more than five minutes…totally out of the question…no writing then…

I had no clue…that because my surgery also involved my cervical vertebrae…that wearing a necklace would become unthinkable…

I had no clue…about a lot of things…the list could go on and on…but…honestly…I’m glad I didn’t know…there was enough to dread…enough to fret about…without concerning myself with the foolishness of accessories…

Even though due to permanent nerve damage…I still have many…most…of the symptoms that I was having…and will live with them the rest of my life…they are familiar…nuisances…like annoying relatives…who are accepted for who and what they are…not always welcome…but always there…my surgery was a resounding success…

So…I celebrate…my hair isn’t sore…it rarely sparkles…I can wear most earrings…obviously…I can sit at the computer…I can write again…and…now…as I approach the one year anniversary of the surgery…I can wear a necklace…definitely a milestone…

Jane